Top 5 modern horror flicks (post 2000)

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Heyo,

Before the next review (motel hell) comes out, I thought I would do some lists featuring my favourite horror flicks. I will break them up into different headings as I think it’s a cop out and too easy to just do one all time favourite list. I will finish with that however.

To start, I’m going to go with what I feel is the hardest list, “post 2000’s”. Seriously, I’m pretty sure a lot of people would agree with me when I say the pickings get slim when it gets to modern horror. Even if someone makes a throwback genre movie in the model of a Friday film or “the burning” it just doesn’t have that same feel as what it did when they were made in the past. You may be able to chalk that up to modern film making technology, purely for money making or back then it just had all the elements for it to be “just right”.

Anyway, I’m not here to rant I’m here to tell you my top 5. So enough with the stalling and lets start.

Number 5- Halloween 2
Director-Rob Zombie
Year-2009
Wait! Before you purists get too pissed off at me about including this, can I just tell you why. Pretty much it’s the first 20-25 minutes. This is always important to me in a movie as I need to be grabbed and pulled in straight away. I do not care if it was a dream, flashback or something different, the beginning of this movie is INTENSE. The violence is top notch especially towards the ambulance drivers ( cow, cow, COW haha). I’ll admit it goes a bit off the rails as the movie goes on but I don’t think it nearly deserves the hate it gets. If I had to choose this or the original zombie remake it would be this one any day of the week.
7/10

Number 4- The woman
Director- Lucky McKee
Year- 2011
I have already reviewed this one so I won’t spend much time on it. Just want to tell you if you haven’t seen this yet please do. Dark, bleak and tense. This movie has my eyes glued to the screen every time. This ones underrated and I feel it will keep getting noticed and become a fan favourite as time goes on. SEE IT!

Number 3- Excision
Director- Richard Bates Jr.
Year- 2012
This film needs to be BIGGER. I had never heard, seen or read a review on this film when I rented it.(yes I still rent, support the little guys!!!)
One thing I will say is I’m so glad I have seen it. To say this is a strange film is an understatement. It follows the day to day troubles of teenager Pauline (Annalynne McCord) as she deals with bullies, her sisters illness and her obsession with becoming a surgeon. She will do anything to impress her controlling mother and yes ma’am father, but at the same time, piss them off till no end. I don’t want to ruin too much of this movie but the movie works its way to an unexpected horrible and touching? Ending. If you like quirky indie, strange gore, VERY dark humor and just plain strangeness, then get on this. McCord is unrecognizable from her good looking self and steals this movie and makes it her own.
8.5/10

Number 2- The descent
Director- Neill Marshall
Year- 2005
I don’t think I need to explain too much with this movie as it is a favourite by many. The last time I can remember being claustrophobic was when I was a young kid, that was until I watched this movie. Seriously, even before the “bad guys”(don’t want to ruin it) come and turn the bad situation to an “ohhh shit” situation, I was freaked out! When they are getting stuck in those little tunnels it makes me want to get up and do star jumps so I know I’m not confined. Anyway, this follows a group of ladies who go for a weekend of caving in what they thought was an already discovered cave. Guess again. Once they find out they are first to go in this cave system, everything turns to shit. This wasn’t a huge mainstream hit but has since gained a massive following. Put a point up for the poms cause they did a bloody good job with this one.

Number 1- The Strangers
Director- Brian Bertino
Year 2008
Oh god I can hear the abuse now. WHAT, are you kidding me? Bla bla bla. Yup heard it all but it’s not going to change my mind and that is I LOVE THIS MOVIE! It’s hard for a movie to creep me out and this one does a good job. The thing that works best for me is there is always something going on in the back ground. Usually just something simple but effective such as one of the antagonists slowly walking onto the screen and back out again without liv Tyler knowing. This movie gets my blood boiling a bit like the honorable mention down there. I hate the fact that these people come in and completely destroy these people’s lives and BRAVO for the movie for getting that kind of response out of me. It might be anger but it’s still getting me invested in this film which is better than sitting there counting the clock. I’m pretty sure you have all seen this but if you haven’t, watch it at home alone at night and see what you’re thinking when you go to bed.

Honorable mention
Eden Lake.
James Watkins
2008
I back and forthed on this one. Is it horror is it not, is it better than the other 5. In the end I feel it’s more a thriller but still wanted to get it on here. I can only watch this movie every now and then as it gets me angry haha. Those punks deserve to be beat down and it never comes except for a couple of them, which I do a little fist in the air every time 🙂 the movie is about a happy couple who go to a part of the woods that’s going to be demolished soon for housing. While there, they get into an altercation with some local dickweeds (teenagers) and shit gets real very quickly. What follows is dog murder, torture, man hunting, bullying and all sorts of terrifying real life shit. Does it start with these teens or does it go back to the parents who may be responsible for the going ons throughout the movie? Who cares, make a sequel and get revenge on Em all so I can go to sleep at night not angry for once since I seen this movie 4 years ago. Kidding, sort of. Oh yeah, another point to the English. Well done lads.

What would have made my top ten
House of a thousand corpses, the hills have eyes remake, paranormal activity 1, hostel.

Anyway, that’s it. Remember this is not an all time list, just the last 13 years. Disagree or agree, feel free to abuse or yell in the comments or on twitter 🙂
Up next will be the top 5 90’s. Shit, are there more than 2?

Twitter @joshmarhoff

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Time to vote

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Evening,

It has been a loooong time between reviews. As I’m lazy and do not like making decisions, please decide for me. Easy and simple, just tell me which movie to review out of the following and let me know via comments or twitter.
Peace!

1- Motel hell (1980)
2- wolf creek (2005)
3- paranormal activity (2007)
4- Halloween 4 (1988)

Twitter @joshmarhoff

Friday the 13th part 2, mini review

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Morning,

I just realized it has been a while since I put anything up so I decided to do a mini review so this place doesn’t start forming tumbleweeds and lonely western music.
I chose Friday the 13th part 2 because along with Halloween and the Texas chainsaw massacre, shaped me into the horror loving nut I am today. Halloween is already done so I guess I have to do Friday and Texas to complete my inspiration trilogy.

Pick any of the first 4 Friday movies, and I guarantee that one of these will be someone’s favorite. Whether it’s number 1 because people like that that’s where it all started, number 3 because this is where Jason really started to take shape with his hockey mask and all, or number 4 because well come on, all star line-up, awesome kills, Crispin glovers AMAZING dance, the beginning of the tommy trilogy, and I think finally Friday the 13th had established itself and it didn’t look like slowing down EVER(until the very next release, number….5. *shudder* DAMN YOU ROY).

For me, number 3 can be taken from the box set, along with number 5(god damn it Roy get outta here) and I wouldn’t care. I think it’s a minor hiccup in an otherwise strong beginning series. One is ok, but I need me some Jason. Number 4 is a close second fave, but NOTHING can knock number 2 from its perch as my number 1 Friday.

Set 5 years after the horrible bloodbath at camp crystal lake, the legend of Jason continues to grow. Now, a new batch of camp counsellors have come to be trained……in dying. Ha, no but seriously, Jason has grown the eff up and is pissed. Mayhem ensues. See- Bloodbath.

Friday 2 has everything I like in a slasher, the campfire tale, good fx, sub par acting, and Jason with a bag over his head. Yes I love the bag, it’s creepy and effective and it nearly makes me wanna give Jason a hug and just tell him that dude, you aren’t that ugly(he is).

Friday the 13th part 2 is one of those movies I can watch again and again and again. Sure it has it’s faults with acting and story/timeline and the confusing ending, but to me that makes it great. Hell, I even love big red Stuart Charno. Amy steel is probably my favourite final girl out of the whole series, she is a decent actor and portrays fear which is rare in an 80’s slasher. The part where it is pitch black and she screams “paul there’s someone in the fucking room” still gives me goosebumps. Roy never gave me goosebumps( I mean it Roy GO AWAY you un scary bastard)

This version of Jason I also find creepy. He seems like a normal dude, not a zombie yet, and just creeps the hell outta me. The way he hunts and kills is a lot of fun. What about the dude in the wheel chair. HELL YES!! That guy was destroyed, although I’m still confused as to why they used that bad pause and transition to the next scene :/ ah well 80’s slasher, it gets a pass.

Like most of its peers that were made around the same time, it is choc full of cheesy dialogue. My favourite however, comes very early in the movie when our head camp counselor is giving a run down of some rules and regulations. That’s all fine until he mentions a special rule for the ladies. He informs them that during menstruation if they don’t keep “clean” a bear will come :/……….WHAT?? What bear is going to come and eat them and WHY?? Lol ( I hope a bear eats Roy, ROY!!!)

Anyway, this movie is a classic and if you haven’t seen it yet, really?, you need to. It has everything to love about a Friday the 13th movie. It has everything to love about an 80’s movie. It has everything to love about a slasher movie. It’s brilliant.

9.5/10- there isn’t many movies that I will give a perfect score to, but a 9.5 is top score.
Forgive me for any mistakes as I have typed this on my iPad and right now I’m getting to the point of frustration.

Feel free to comment or hit me up on twitter
Twitter @joshmarhoff
Instagram #joshrm

P.S GO HOME ROY!
Cheers

Savages Crossing

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This will be my first run down on a movie ever. I’m not the best with getting my thoughts to word form so be patient. The movies that I will talk about are NOT recommendations, merely just my thoughts on what I have most recently watched in the horror genre.

To get this blog started, I have gone with a film which I watched yesterday after buying from a Video Ezy for $3. (first warning there maybe?) It’s a low budget film from Australia called savages crossing. Reading through the cast of the movie, you would think it would be quite a good watch. The cast reads like a who’s who of Australian film and TV, including Craig maclachlan, Sarah horler, Jessica Napier, Rebecca smart and John jarratt, who had his hand in directing and producing along with his wife Cody Jarrett (very similar surnames, not a spelling mistake).

The plot I must admit is quite original, and centers around recently released Phil,(John jarratt) on the hunt for his wife and son(jarratts real life son Charlie jarrat). After getting an early tip off of his release, the pair jump in the car and make way for a country escape. Bad storms and rising flood waters force mother and son to take refuge at a roadside stop run by Mory (mclachlan) and Kate(Napier). Here we meet some new characters who are on the road and forced inside likely for the night. All goes from relaxing to intense when Phil, saved from rising waters by mory in the truck, ends up at the same roadhouse. From there it’s your standard fight for survival with twists and turns aplenty.

Now, i am a HUGE advocate for Australian film and have a lot of love for them. Films like Mad Max, Stone, wolf creek, the reef and to a lesser extent Snowtown, are amongst my favorite films. As a matter of fact, I am constantly arguing with my partner about the quality of Aussie film. She proclaims that they are too dark, depressing and bleak. For me, that is what I LOVE about them, they are real, no bullshit films about what life is sometimes like, which means no happy ending! Savages crossing tries to put a lot of cliche Aussie charm in the dialogue, but to me comes off as trying too hard and sounds forced. Granted we do swear a lot but, this was driving me nuts to the point where it was hard to follow.

This movie was released in 2009, so it was following in the footsteps and the success of “Wolf creek” and it shows. The movie is pretty much John Jarratts baby, and I think he might be riding on the coat tails of wolf creek too much as he was the villain in that film too. Throughout the short 82 minute running time, Jarratt channels the Mick Taylor character A LOT and sometimes takes it and makes him even more batshit crazy. It was disappointing seeing so many big names in the one film looking like z grade actors. I’m not sure what to put it down to exactly, but I’m sure the directing, dialogue and low budget did not help at all. I’m all for indie, low budget films as many of my favorite films are very underground and cheap, but when you have competent actors and a somewhat original story line, you expect much much more.

There were many opportunities for this movie to redeem itself and use violence and action as a positive, but as usual it tries to explode and have you on the edge of your seat, but the poor acting just takes you straight out, and back to being bored as shit. I don’t know if this film was meant to be humorous but I sure as hell found some parts quite funny. I’ll keep it spoiler free and won’t tell you the twist ending (if you can call it that) but it has to be one of the most cringe inducing parts of the whole thing. Way to leave me with a super bad taste in my mouth! On the plus there were a couple of decent performances by Rebecca Smart and Mclachlan did have his moments.

I just can’t recommend this film as I know that while someone was watching because of me, I would be feeling so embarrassed. After so many good Aussie efforts, I think it will be ok to let this one slide and brush it under the mat. If you want to watch a good Australian thriller just go straight to Wolf Creek as it’s in the same vein and 20 times better. I heard there’s a wolf creek 2 slated for 2013 so I hope John jarratt just sticks with playing Mick Taylor and stop trying to cash in on the disturbed individual he has pulled off so well in the past. As far as a rating goes, I hate being harsh as it’s better then I could ever do, but in saying that I watch movies to be entertained and this just failed on all levels. I’ve gone to the defense of Australian films time and time again and now you do this to me? COME ON!!! 2 out of 10 is all I can muster up for this one. I better go as the cats trying to eat the disk….. Ah whatever cat has a new toy.

Thanks to anyone still reading ha, I could imagine this was pretty frustrating to read as it’s my first ever. But any comments or criticisms or even just to talk about the film, I’m all ears!

Peace, Josh

Follow on twitter @joshmarhoff